The weight of the patient that you are about to transport increases by the square of the sum of the number of floors which must be ascended to reach the patient plus the number of floors which must be descended while carrying the patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, numbers
A 500 pound patient needs all care, while your 80 pound patient needs a finger dressing and your colleague has a bad back.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, bad luck, bad
The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with the patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, chance, family
You do the: Just discharged the Patient from Hell dance only to turn around and find the Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist looking at you like you're their next patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, dance, hell
In any accident, the degree of injury suffered by a patient is inversely proportional to the amount and volume of agonized screaming produced by that patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The amount of space which is needed to work on a patient varies inversely with the amount of space which is available to work on that patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, univers, work
The number of distraught and uncooperative relatives surrounding any given patient varies exponentially with the seriousness of the patient's illness or injury.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, numbers
Many of us are alarmed at the skyrocketing cost of medical care, including patients, who are the consumers. However, medical malpractice is not the reason for these increasing costs.Quote by Joe Baca about reason
I mean being a writer is like being a psychoanalyst, but you don't get any patients.Quote by Al Alvarez about opinion, being, writers
Our nation is somewhat sad, but we're angry. There's a certain level of blood lust, but we won't let it drive our reaction. We're steady, clear-eyed and patient, but pretty soon we'll have to start displaying scalps.Quote by George W. Bush about blood, nation
If it's a slow race you have to be on your guard. You have to be patient, but I prefer that.Quote by Michael East
In general, certain conclusions are possible from these data. They fail to prove that psychotherapy, Freudian or otherwise, facilitates the recovery of neurotic patients.Quote by Hans Eysenck
In our tabulation of psychoanalytic results, we have classed those who stopped treatment together with those not improved. This appears to be reasonable; a patient who fails to finish his treatment, and is not improved, is surely a therapeutic...Quote by Hans Eysenck about end, failure
Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.Quote by Charles W. Eliot about books, teachers
The disoriented patient always comes from a Nursing Home whose beautiful paperwork has no phone number on it.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, numbers, home
The patient who has been dying all night finally meets his maker 12.5 minutes before shift change.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, night, change
You walk out of a patient's room after you've asked them if they need anything: they will put the call bell on as you are about three quarters the way down the hall.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, need
The doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language will be responsible for your most critical patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, language, use