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107 quotes

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb...

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

Quote by Scott Adams about companies, work

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is...

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Quote by Scott Adams about creativity, art, magic

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no...

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

Quote by Scott Adams about problems

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the...

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

Quote by Scott Adams about pleasure, people

I get mail; therefore I am.

I get mail; therefore I am.

Quote by Scott Adams

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your...

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

Quote by Scott Adams

I'm slowly becoming a convert to the principle that you can't motivate people to do things, you can only demotivate them. The primary job of the manager is not to empower but to remove obstacles.

Quote by Scott Adams about heads, obstacles, principle, things, people

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

Quote by Scott Adams

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of...

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Quote by Scott Adams about stupidity, intelligence, time, people

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a...

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

Quote by Scott Adams

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

Quote by Scott Adams about cars, commerce

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of...

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Quote by Scott Adams about tradition

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.

Quote by Scott Adams

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I...

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.

Quote by Scott Adams about obstacles, purpose, failure

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't...

Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Quote by Scott Adams about nation, people

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

Quote by Scott Adams about people, principle, religion, nothing, things

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Quote by Scott Adams about absolution, revenge, nothing

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to...

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.

Quote by Scott Adams about brain

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of...

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

Quote by Scott Adams about end, things

Remind people that profit is the difference between...

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Quote by Scott Adams about nation, intelligence, people

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